Painful Remembering

Repentance can only come from remembering. Eradicating hurtful memories does more harm than good, because I am then free to imagine my past however I so choose. Knowing myself the way I do, I confess I will always attempt to place myself in the best light. Remembering my past with all its ugliness and disgrace is excruciating and embarrassing, but holds tremendous power for transforming my future. I cannot bear the pain of who I have been, so I determine that with God’s help and all the courage I can muster, I will not repeat the sins of my memory. Spiritual markers are not always pleasant memories.

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